GRATITUDES + BREAKTHROUGHS // SEPTEMBER 20, 2016

Gratitudes

This week was filled with gratitudes, so many that there is no way I’ll be able to list them all. But here goes…

Saturday I headed out to Annapolis to hang bayside with Brittany + Kevin for their beachfront wedding. It was amazing! Their venue – Chesapeake Bay Foundation , Philip Merrill Environmental Center – was perfect seeing as the bride is obsessed with the ocean and being environmentally friendly. She tastefully chose an ocean theme for their wedding with nets, ropes, starfish and sand dollar name card holders, and the most wild wedding cake with a watercolor octopus on it! Brittany walked down the aisle barefoot and Kevin met her halfway so they could start their journey together a little bit sooner! Their friends and family enjoyed the hilarious toasts given by Kevin’s three brothers and one heart felt toast by Brittany’s sister. The dance floor was poppin’ with oldies and top 40s just the right mix for the whole crowd. These two were also lucky enough to have their wedding day on the harvest moon! After cake cutting and cupcakes the new Mr. + Mrs. ran through a bright glow stick exit!

I started Yoga Teacher Training on Thursday, without really knowing what to expect. I walked in and took my first hot class in months. It felt so good, the heat was welcoming, I was sweating and gliding through the poses. (Note when I say glide I don’t mean gracefully or with much ease just a lot of muscle memory.) After that first class we went into the classroom to begin learning; learning about ourselves, about our classmates, styles of yoga, history of yoga, alignment of poses and so much more. I think what I appreciated most from this first weekend was the enthusiasm and inspiration that came with it. For the first time in a long time I’m learning something that I’m excited about, and something that isn’t structured around my business. Don’t get me wrong my business keeps me moving but this learning experience is uniquely individual and internal – for now atleast until I unleash my perspective and knowledge on students in 2017!

Teacher training and the wedding drained me this weekend. I had high hopes of knocking out a ton of work on Monday and instead slept in and started cleaning. Does anyone else have days like that? I woke up feeling so motivated so scrub the kitchen, dust, vacuum and organize. I was a whirlwind of home cleaning productivity, something this house hasn’t seen in months. Maybe it was the yoga or the upcoming season change, but I felt like our living room needed to be rearranged to bring in a new perspective and new energy. I love the new set-up and will be purchasing a few to accents to spice it up a bit.

Yesterday was especially dreary and after cleaning and unpacking from my weekend away I sat down to paint my nails. I was teetering between OPI’s favorite nude Bubble Bath or a deep cobalt blue called Keeping Suzie At Bay. I was drawn to the nude because I was so tired and feeling like yoga really stripped me down to work through some of my own personal bullshit, but I kept coming back to the cobalt. I was reminded at how lovely Brittany + Kevin’s wedding was and since it was on the Chesapeake Bay it seemed fitting. So blue it is! I might be jumping the gun a little to be working dark colors into my rotation but, I do what I want.

Breakthroughs

This one popped up last night and I’m excited to share. Self-reflection is something we are encouraged to explore, to better understand why we do or say things in the moment. This action is usually beneficial, as you can further understand yourself. There are times though that this could be harmful and I have found one. I have never shied away from an argument or a disagreement but more recently I’ve found myself arguing with a passive stance. Instead of having an explosive argument where emotions run high, pain is imminent and you are vulnerable, I’ve retreated to a place where I can sit and marinate on my feelings. Those feelings of pain and fear ruminate for days while I try to dig deep to understand why I am hurt, why I feel pain and how to properly articulate those things. What I’m finding is that, it isn’t super healthy. I do it as a way to protect myself from vulnerability. For days I sit and I (essentially) stew over this almost argument while I make the other person wait, wait for round two. Days go by without resolve, without a workaround, without acceptance or without apology. So I’m actively working on sitting through those feelings of vulnerability and accepting that sometimes I’m going to be outline and out of character with my works and actions – and that’s okay because we don’t always have to understand every single action and emotion that we experience. Are there any times in your life that you falling back into self-reclection and finding it harmful?

As always, thanks for reading. xoxo.