GRATITUDES + BREAKTHROUGHS // FEBRUARY 20, 2018

Gratitudes

Valentine’s Day was last week and I celebrated in style. I order a pizza from my favorite pizza shop and ran in to Harris Teeter for a 4-pack of  petit fours. There were so many men in the grocery store – so many. They were hoovered around the floral arrangements, bouquets and pre-packaged sweets. I’ve only ever witnessed the same amount of men there the day before Super Bowl Sunday. It was pretty comical. Also I didn’t feel like waiting in line at the bakery so I nudged my way past all of the late male shoppers and scooped up a premade 10 pack of petit fours. It was a good day.

I dove deep in to Shameless on Netflix. I don’t normally get wrapped up in tv shows that often but this one got me. I ended up watching all 7 seasons in about 3 weeks. If you haven’t watched it, start it now! With Shameless over, I picked up two more books from the library Marlena: A Novel by Julie Buntin. I’m about half way through and it’s a little slow, but I committed to a book club for this coming Friday so I need to finish it. I’m hopeful it gets better. I also grabbed Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between) by Lauren Graham. I read the first few chapters and it’s punchy and cute. I can’t help but read it in Lorelai Gilmore’s voice and pace.

I had a really sweet winter engagement session on Saturday before the snow it. Stephanie and Leon flew in from Texas to visit their family and wanted to make sure they were able to celebrate their engagement at home, where they initially met. Our original plan was to shoot on Friday, but if you were anywhere in the DMV it was cold and rainy so we rescheduled for a sunrise session on Saturday with the hopes of sunlight. We lucked out! We started with coffee at Common Grounds, then made our way through Middleburg and then took a quick trip down the road to a roadside park with mountain views. I loved their idea for a town and country session! I can’t wait to share more of their full gallery in the weeks to come!

After the early engagement session I ran over to my sisters house to have coffee with her, her husband and my other sister. (I know there are a lot of us.) From there we skipped over to grab authentic mexican from a neighborhood joint that we love. It had been so long since I had white queso and a shrimp quesadilla. It was also fun to spend a weekend morning together, with all of our schedules it’s nearly impossible to get everyone together.

Mosby and Ava had a puppy play date with my sister’s German Short Hair Pointer named Truffles. It was more Mosby and Truffles really, Ava never wants to participate. Instead she likes to sit o the top of the couch and observe. These two ran wild outside in the snow and then snuggled on the electric blanket when they were tired. Sunday though, with the warmer weather Ava and Mosby both got in trouble – big trouble. I let them out – without supervision because they always stay near and come back. I heard them on the front porch ready to come in, usually Ava lets out on bark and Mosby jumps on the door. This time though, I heard both of them shaking their coats so I knew they were wet. I opened the door and both of them are soaked and muddy. Collars ruined. I had to walk Mosby upstairs directly to the bathroom and put him in the clawfoot tub for his bath, and Ava followed. Both of them have been naked for a few days because I can’t find collars that I love. I have been able to find so many cute girl dog collars but, I want them to coordinate and the boy dog collars are all super lame. Where does everyone get their collars from?

This weeks polish is OPI It’s In The Clouds. A creamy white that goes on great with two applications. I’m not typically drawn to white as I think my skin is too pale but I liked how this wasn’t a true “white out” white, it was a little softer. Also I feel like with so many things changing around here I wanted something that was upbeat as well as up in the air! If you don’t like white as a dominant color, this color is also recommended for nail art.

Breakthroughs

My word for this year is rebuild. In order to rebuild sometimes you need to hire a contractor, draw up blueprints and start the demolition. Strip away the old paint, remove the drywall and get down to the frame – the bare bones – to really evaluate what needs to be done and to see the new potential. That’s what I started doing in January in my personal life and in my business. I decided to hire an amazing business coach who has come on as my contractor. She is guiding me through this process from the ground up.

I sent her over my list of goals and filled out a questionnaire. On our first phone session the very first question she asked me was, “Do you ever follow your intuition?” My initial reaction was “yes, always” but, I knew recently that hadn’t been totally true, especially in 2017. I didn’t respond, and I could tell she could feel me thinking. She asked, “are you aware of your intuition?” That I knew the answer too immediately, which was a strong yes. I’ve always been intuitive and make decisions based on feeling paired with rationality. It was within the first 8 minutes of our call that she made me aware of how deeply I suppressed my intuition this past year. I was trying to bulldoze through so many personal + business decisions and paths that I forgot to ask myself “does this feel right?, is this the right time?, will this make you happy?” I wasn’t allowing myself to be open to the universe and it’s potential, which leads me to my breakthrough.

I’m working on listening to my intuition again, which means starting to let go of things that no longer serve me to make room for things that do. Right now that means not renewing my lease in April. This farmhouse has held so many loving memories for me like moving in with my then-boyfriend, adopting Mosby as a puppy and finding the perfect nook in Virginia to call home. It also holds within its walls loneliness, disappointment and sadness. I stayed at this house on my own for over a year and it was a struggle sometimes, but I worked hard and made sacrifices to keep this place. It’s time to leave it in the past.

My business coach helped me see that, or maybe she gave me the permission I needed to move on. I’m still not sure. After our phone call I cried. I cried feeling disappointed in myself. I cried feeling ashamed. I cried feeling loss. And then I cried with relief. I would be wrapping up a chapter of my life neatly and completely, with the possibility for so much more in the near future. Looking for a cheap way to cope/celebrate this decision, I ordered an obscene amount of Chinese food and snuggled with the pups.

I have my goals listed, I have a plan and I’m almost done with the demolition stage. I’m looking forward to rebuilding with purpose and intuition. I’m also really curious where this year will take me and where I’ll finally land.

 

As always, thanks for reading. xoxo